I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize