I'm really into asian looking animals
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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