party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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