That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
