he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
