Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
