big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
