She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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