She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
