Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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