she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize