the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
