Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
