just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
