Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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