dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
