I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you will always have a special place in my vag
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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