Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize