The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
