I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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