yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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