i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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