i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
