she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
