Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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