Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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