Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
