I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
