I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
