So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
