Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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