i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
