Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
