Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
