So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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