I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
