Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How naked do you want me to be?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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