i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
