My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
