Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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