I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
