that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
