is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
