This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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