Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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