if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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