omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
