Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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