Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
