He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
