Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(956): View more from Texas

If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

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(503): View more from Oregon

you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt

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(440): View more from Ohio

I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

(1-440): View more from Ohio

please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

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(+75): View more from

It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.

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