I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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