brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
