you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
