Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
