Whod you bang
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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