dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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