I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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