im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize