In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
