Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
