A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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