Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Found your dick twin last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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